Oftentimes health is measured by how someone looks physically but in fact health is a practice that starts within. My journey of holistic health began over 15 years ago. I overcame teen homelessness and was looking to put the pieces of my life together. During this time I was blessed to be exposed to all types of mentors, social workers, teachers, and case managers that supported my growth and further inspired me to continue my on my path. In addition, my family history of mental health challenges allowed me to see the value of mental health.
My hunger for creating a life outside of circumstance was my main focus. I experienced anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts and that is where my holistic wellness journey began. I was 17 and quit smoking cigs, weed, and released around 40 pounds. I started volunteering at a yoga studio, dancing, running, and biking. My relationship to myself started to shift and my body began to transform. I was physically releasing past traumas and memories. I spent days in bookstores reading self help books and journaling. The work of Iyanla Vanzant, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Pema Chodran, and Tara Bennett-Goleman became my anchor. I was deeply hurting and desperately wanted to gain the tools to set myself free. My other motivation was my dream of moving to the big city of New York. I knew it would happen but I also knew that I had to prepare myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Eventually I started to realize that I couldn’t “heal” myself and that I indeed needed support. Due to cultural stigmas triggered by a long history institutional racism and white supremacy, I was hesitant to speak to a therapist but I realized I needed support to take myself to the next level. My family history and the knowledge I learned from reading on mental health books eventually inspired me to take the leap. For the next few years I created a transformation box and at around 20, I started regular therapy. I was paying $5 a session and seeing my therapist twice per week. During this time I was able to develop trust with my therapist, process my childhood, and my relationship to my family.
FInally at the ripe age of 22, I set foot to New York solo. Although I was solo I knew I wasn’t alone as my relationship with God being my grounding force. I quickly tapped in the supportive poetry scene and created a bi-weekly show. I was young, naive, and growing into my womanhood.
A few years later, I hit a point where I felt stuck, isolated, and depressed. I began seeing a Black woman therapist for a year two times per week. That experience totally transformed my relationship with myself and therapy. This time I had someone who looked like me, shared a similar lense, and was able to see me for me. I call her one of my many New York angels that stepped into my life at that divine time. Since then I’ve always worked with women of color therapists and have many friends who are in the field. As I approached my 30’s, I have maintained a regular therapy practice. If it wasn’t for the support of therapy and my spiritual practice, I surely wouldn’t be where I am now. I have been blessed with people who’ve truly poured into my life. As I navigate this world, my purpose is to pour into the lives of others. Below are some of the benefits and tools I’ve acquired through my therapy practice.
I was able to process my past, heal, and forgive myself and the people in my life.
I appreciated my journey and shift to a space of gratefulness for the role my parents played in my life and most importantly see them as people who did the best that they could with the tools and resources that they had.
Through years of processing my experience of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, I was able to slowly I begin to shift and develop a new relationship with the root causes of my thoughts and develop tools to create a new interpretation around them.
Most importantly I had an underlying belief that I was crazy and my feelings weren’t valid. In therapy I was able to see my feelings and insecurities as totally human.
One gem that a therapists left with me was when she said, “Just as we treat our bodies, we must treat and rewire our minds.” Therapy has been a supportive tool that I actively engaged in. I envision a space where Black women feel supported and safe to process their experience and how they relates to the world. It’s a continual process of releasing the layers that prevent us from seeing our truest self and highest possibility. I acknowledge that I will won’t ever arrive at some enlightened state of consciousness and at the same time I am grateful for the wisdom, space, and resources I've acquired along my path. I am excited to share it with others, just as many have shared with me. Thank you for reading and please stay connected for more updates on holistic wellness.